Dead Letter Department #48
year in review
no, no—not the serious kind, that has to wait until I can do the YearCompass project with my bestie. This one is just the things that are sticking out in my mind as our poor tired 2022 begins to look for her coat & hat & say goodbye to everyone at the party.
existential graphic novel: The Secret to Superhuman Strength, by Alison Bechdel
fiction series I was most obsessive about, to the point where I lay awake at night thinking about the characters: The Locked Tomb Series, by Tamsyn Muir
nonfiction by a man in a beret: Complex PTSD by Pete Walker
history: Tulalip From My Heart, Harriette Shelton Dover
most torn up physical copy: The Once & Future Witches, Alix E Harrow
collection of letters that made me furious: The Dolphin Letters: Elizabeth Hardwick, Robert Lowell, and Their Circle
unhinged deep dive into a writer of my youth, who (like so many of them) proved to be horrifically racist: Anne Rice
favorite book about the price of fame: The Unraveling of Cassidy Holmes, Elissa R. Sloan
re-read that hits completely differently now that I’m in my 40s: Paladin of Souls, Lois McMaster Bujold
book of poetry: When I Grow Up, I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities, Chen Chen
favorite section of the library: interior design, for looking at beautiful rooms while my apartment was pulled into its component parts
writing about spirituality: The Inner Voice of Love, Henri J.M. Nouwen
standby perfume: Smolderose, by January Scent Project (damask rose & smoke)
new delightful perfume: Blanche, by Byredo (clean, fresh, like the fanciest pile of just-folded laundry)
least favorite knee: left, obviously
most memorable meal: KACHKA dumplings & caviar at the witchiest AirBNB I’ve ever stayed at
plating of a meal: the blackberries my friend carefully arranged on our plates to make it look like the dungeness crabs we were eating had pooped berries, thereby entertaining his 8 year old, &, frankly, me
new food truck: Banh Mi & Bubble Tea
favorite purchase: $20 for all the dahlias I could fit into a florists’ bucket, which made my apartment look like a firework display of petals for more than a week.
near miss: when the enormous wooden door on my wardrobe came down & almost crushed my foot, which was saved only by the convenient placement of a pair of a boots & my old teddy bear.
most memorable drive: The one back from Lynden, down Hannegan, when the sky was orange-red & the fields were full of smoke, & it looked like the world was burning because the world was burning.
regular walk: low tide in Blaine when the waves roll all the way out, leaving a million tiny tidal creatures to examine, & you can see the islands hovering at the horizon.
accidental walk: down the cliffs to the Cherry Point Aquatic Reserve
music for big sweeping feelings: Dance Fever, Florence + the Machine
music for big gay feelings: All of Us Flames, Ezra Furman
music for feelings about love, unrequited or absent: MAGDALENE, FKA twigs
most important discovery at Costco: frozen sweet cherries
most productive work practice (subtractive): deleting social media from my phone (again)
most productive work practice (additive): month in review meetings with C.
most important wish on a star: the one by the bonfire after everyone else had gone to bed & there was nobody on the beach except for a few little bobbing headlamps so far out they looked like fireflies.
favorite dead letter: #22, Alternatives to Forgiveness
favorite thing i wrote, unfinished: the beginning to something big that I’m very excited about
new habit: homemade lattes after lunch
show i sincerely loved: Our Flag Means Death
show i loved to watch with my brain completely off while eating dinner: The Crown
favorite neighbor: Nico, the brown tabby, who sometimes waits for me under my mailbox
sunset location: the trail that loops the Bellwether
sunrise location: my desk, on a good writing day
regret: never enough writing time with full attention & use of my faculties, never enough time with friends, never enough time outside
here are some things I looked at, now you can look at them too
That’s it for the Dead Letter Department for the year. Thank you for letting me slip into your inbox--writing for you continues to be a pleasure. I hope to see you here again soon. In the meantime, may you be able to look back & see your own 2022 regrets through the generous eyes of the kindest friend you have, but also plan for a 2023 with all the ambition & rigor you yourself will require.